Ok that last post was so HORRIBLE but was true to what I was feeling at the moment.
They came, I lived, it was fine. What can I do? I can't do anything about it. They want me to be OK and I get that. But it is just hard and especially when I just want it to be easy. I don't want it to be awkward for them. And I don't want to feel awkward either. We didn't discuss it at length because we were going out so I said I wanted to talk about it later though. I just didn't want to get all worked up and ruin the night. I will be going next weekend to see her anyway and we will be alone so I just figured we could talk more then.
I mean how much should I explain? I feel like I want to talk about it, but will I somehow hurt her feelings possibly? I don't want to do that. I just want to explain that as hard as it is and will be to hear everything I want to be part of it all. Does that even make sense? And she doesn't want to hurt MY feelings. So I feel like we will be in one big don't make anyone feel bad circle.
I think the fear and anticipation of seeing them was worse than the actual visit. The visit was normal. I am also having a hard time imagining her pregnant. I don't know what that is... I guess I just want to know how that feels and with IF preggers I get all the details on their blogs. But with people who just get pregnant easy you don't tend to get all those details, know what I mean?
Sometimes I am just one big conflict. I say I don't want to know or talk about it, but then I DO.
Thank you everyone for your comments. I really do appreciate it and I know you all understand. Hope everyone has a great weekend!