Thursday, January 7, 2010

Hard Decisions

---- I wrote this a few weeks ago but forgot to post ----

Hello ya'll. So glad that you are still OUT THERE. I thought that not posting or commenting on my part probably meant everyone was gone. It is time for me to get my blogger on and start commenting again. I definitely read, but not so good with the commenting. Sorry about that.

But on to the hard decisions.

I think I did the hardest thing I have done so far in my life today. I told my two bosses that I found another job and plan to take it. I seriously can't recall something more hard than this was for me.

Let me think...
I only count things 18 or older, because before that, I don't know, perhaps EVERYTHING had a little bit of the dramatic and so I don't feel that counts at all.

1) Where to go to college - totally easy. I knew and applied to only one school and that was Te-xas A-&M. At the last minute I sent an app to South.west T.exas (NOW Texa.s St.ate) for a last minute back up but a few days later I didn't need it because I got my acceptance at A&M. No brainer. Never regretted it and still LOVE THAT PLACE.

2) Decided to move out of the first place I lived in college. It was hard because the girl I lived with was one of my very best friends since high school. And it was mainly over a boy and stupid money things. Oh and the fact that she wouldn't run the AC or get cable and we had to have separate phones. OK, so it was hard, but a good decision. And best of all we are STILL GREAT FRIENDS. And now that shit is pretty funny.... and she married the boy, haha! I didn't want him, I just wanted them to stop giggling at 3AM!

3) Married my husband. Not hard at all. Best decision pretty much EVAH! (just kiddin' there hun, it is still the best one!!)

4) Decided to quit my first job and move to this one. SO EXCITED OMG THE BEST THING

5) Wanted to buy a house. Ok, I did lament a little about this... I cried a few times fretting about money and if we could make it but overall a joyous event.

6) Decided to do IVF. This was hard... but then again was very exciting. The financial part scared the crap out of me. The needles scared me. But there was so much potential. Admittedly when things never seemed to go right this decision sucked but it still seemed like the RIGHT decision. And obviously so since I have still not had a kid after two of them. Obviously I need some help in this department.

7) Now whether I should take a job offered and leave the people who I love and love me back. Now don't get me wrong I have complained before but it was always about the WORK and possibly MONEY... but never the people that I recall. So this was really, really REALLY hard and I still am not sure if it was he right thing. I guess I will not know until a year from now possibly.

----end previous writing---

So now here we are a few weeks later and two more working days away from me actually having to leave. I have so many fears. SO MANY. And I need to put my trust in God that he has so far and will continue to guide me through this. I so hope it was the right thing. I also told the new job I would need time off this summer to go to Colorado for a medical thing. I didn't say what and it think they were thoroughly confused but they agreed it probably is no big deal if I can try to work remotely. "As long as the job gets done, that is all we care about." Which on one hand was great to hear, but then I have a sneaking suspicion this could also be BAD. I shall see next week. I start Monday.

In other news... appointment scheduled at C.CR.M for March 19. WOO. HOO. I think.... I have so many mixed feeling lately I don't know whether I am coming or going, but things, they are changing and that feels very refreshing. I think 60% refreshing, 40% scary for now. And I SAID 2010 would be adventurous.... so there ya go!

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Well then. That is really sad....

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! 2010 is going to be quite adventurous. Or at least I hope it will be. I guess tomorrow is my first call for an actual appointment for the one day work up at C.CR.M.

I should probably be more excited. But there has been so much waiting and so much, shall I dare say NORMAL(!?) that I am really not excited to call. Is that weird or WHAT? Months ago I couldn't wait for this moment to arrive and now I am all "ehhhh. hmmmm. yeah. sure, I guess this is exciting" Proof that I can hardly ever be pleased. Sigh. :-) Also, I guess I have been liking the fact that our bills have been getting smaller rather than larger. And with this it will only start all over again.

Now I just need the scheduling gods to please allow there to be an open slot for a one day workup on March 18 or 19. Please cross your fingers for me. Because if not, I really don't have a plan B.

On another note... I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I have had a nice week and a half vacation and I really would like it to continue. Ah well... back to the real world at 8am tomorrow.