Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Seriously, put the worry away for a minute.

What is it about starting this whole process that makes me turn into a huge WORRYING stress ball?

I mean I am worrying about EVERYTHING.  Every. Thing.  It is stupid.  I just spent an hour worrying about a work email.  And if I should reply.  I sent an email earlier today to my boss asking about something.  This something has turned out to be a misunderstanding between myself and another person, a partner on a project.  But I didn't know that I was part of the misunderstanding until my boss replied and I got clarification. And then I felt compelled to TELL him and the other 50 people he copied on his reply that I was part of the confusion from the beginning so not all the blame would go to this partner!  URGH!  And I discussed it with my husband who said don't worry about it.   AND then called my mom to see what she thought.  About an hour and a half later I did send a short email.  Gah and they probably think I am SO STUPID AND please stop stirring up trouble!  But GAH!  I didn't mean to have the misunderstanding in the first place.  But my point IS.... why am I/was I so damn worried about it.  In the end the husband was probably right. GAH.  Sometimes   I hate being me! 

In other news... I got my period on the scheduled day!  Woo!  I got it Sunday night as I laid in bed WORRYING ABOUT IT OMG.  So I start BC tomorrow and hubby starts antibiotics.  

I am worried about other stuff too in case you would like to know:
  • I WAS worried about how much meds are going to cost this cycle but I ordered them today and it wasn't completely terrible.  So I guess I can check it off the worrying list for now.  I am sure I will think of a reason to worry about it again though.
  • Our original plan for financing this next cycle is not going to work out, for good reasons that I am fine with, but now we have to come up with a plan B.  Not the end of the world at all, but now I am starting to WORRY about that too.  And what is our plan B doesn't work out?  Then we have to move to plan C (as in the evil Credit Card which we just paid off).
  • I am worried about what happens if this doesn't work, what kind or wreck will I be?  But that is coupled with momentary smugness that this is so gonna work.  I am all over the map.  Then I worry that I am NOT worried.  AHEM.  Ohmygahyah that is what I said.
  • I am worried about how long I will be off work and that it will be during a time that I NEED to be there.  Of course it always ends up that way.
  • I am worried that my husband is going on a trip with friends and he is going to drink TOO MUCH too close to our cycle.  I thought I was Ok with the timing but last night we went out with these friends and I drank too much when I shouldn't be drinking AT ALL.  But it's like you just can't say no sometimes around these certain friends it seems.  And the only other options is for him NOT to go which doesn't seem right either.  So instead I will take 10 years off my life WORRYING ABOUT it even though it changes nothing at all.  I love being so rational.
  • My local doc has not gotten back to me about my ultrasound and blood work appointments that I need scheduled.  Not as worried over that... but just thought of it so give it a few minutes.
I think that is all for now.   Until tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. Sending prayers, I'm a worrier too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh girl. i'm with you. i worry about everything. i think that it is how i was raised or something. worrying helps me to prepare for the worst case scenario and then if it DOESN'T happen i'm pleasantly surprised, you know?

    some worry, i'm sure, is functional....just becomes a problem when it inhibits your day to day activities, right?

    here's to hoping that you have a worry-free cycle :)

    ReplyDelete